Further line editing

Possible mention of ind.ie ethical design.

Drafts/privacy-blimp-launched-from-deck-of-tolkien.org

@@ -17,20 +17,20 @@ CloudFleet HQ.  (Vienna/AT)
 CloudFleet launched the crowdfunding for an innovative consumer
 CloudFleet launched the crowdfunding for an innovative consumer
 privacy service from the decks of the J.R. Tolkien in Hamburg/DE.
 privacy service from the decks of the J.R. Tolkien in Hamburg/DE.
 Helping to answer the question of "What is to be done?" after the
 Helping to answer the question of "What is to be done?" after the
-Snowden revelations, the Blimp offers openly provable security as a
-consumer product.  Individuals interested in verifiable secure use of
-Cloud services can now help influence our direction with pledges to
-this crowdfunding campaign.
+Snowden revelations, the Blimp offers its users openly provable
+security.  Individuals interested in secure use of Cloud services can
+now help influence the direction with pledges to this crowdfunding
+campaign.  
 
 
 "We're actually doing this, huh?" wondered one of the Fellowship from
 "We're actually doing this, huh?" wondered one of the Fellowship from
 the deck of the J.R. Tolkien berthed Am Sandtorkai.
 the deck of the J.R. Tolkien berthed Am Sandtorkai.
 
 
 ** Your data; your device: your Cloud!
 ** Your data; your device: your Cloud!
 
 
-The CloudFleet Blimps offers an alternative for current consumers of
+The CloudFleet Blimp offers an alternative for current consumers of
 cloud services.  By using a Blimp, individuals may choose to stop
 cloud services.  By using a Blimp, individuals may choose to stop
-being the product of so-called "free" services through the truly free
-use of an openly integrated alternative.
+being the product of so-called "free" services through the use openly
+integrated alternative.
 
 
 ** An Open Source company?
 ** An Open Source company?
 
 
@@ -40,11 +40,19 @@ When asked "Open Source?  How will you make money?", CxO
 ** Data Autonomy
 ** Data Autonomy
 
 
 Embodying the principals of data autonomy, the users of the Blimp are
 Embodying the principals of data autonomy, the users of the Blimp are
-assured that they are in full control.
+assured that they are in full control of the data "emissions" of their
+use of cloud services.
 
 
 One may learn more about the Data Autonomy manifesto at
 One may learn more about the Data Autonomy manifesto at
 <https://discourse.cloudfleet.io#data-autonomy>
 <https://discourse.cloudfleet.io#data-autonomy>
 
 
+** Ethical Design
+
+[ind.ie] 
+
+The design of the CloudFleet Blimp follows the principals of ethical
+design.
+
 ** Crowdfunding
 ** Crowdfunding
 
 
 Our crowdfunding campaign offers a variety of perks which include
 Our crowdfunding campaign offers a variety of perks which include